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mortimor 3-15-2019 09:09 AM
By Definition
The Oxford Learner's Dictionary defines the phrase 'All's fair in love and war' as '(saying) in some situations any type of behavior is acceptable to get what you want'.

In other words, it can also be described as 'an end to justify a means', which means that if you win, then the way you won doesn't really matter.

'All is fair in love and war' basically means that there are no rules applicable in the game of love and in war. There is no room for fair play when a person is desperately trying to win the heart of someone he/she loves, or when a person is going in to war to face his enemies, kill them, and come back alive.

A soldier goes to war with the risk that he may not come back. However, all of us are self-preserving and find our life extremely precious. Therefore, it is natural for us to protect ourselves fiercely in the face of danger. To cite an example, under the law, a person is not prosecuted for killing another if the act was done in 'self defense'. Likewise, a soldier who kills an enemy who is coming toward him with an intent to harm, is no different. The war aspect can be explained in this way.

As for love, doing all that you can to win the heart of the person of your dreams, and I mean all, is something that is accepted if it is true love. Lying, hiding the past, trying to set that person off against an already existing boyfriend/girlfriend, are all the tricks that anyone in love can try, and it is not looked down upon. Similarly, taking or giving some liberties to your better half also falls under this phrase, as these are a leeway that you would not give to anyone else. For example, calling up the guy's best friend to know where they are, or throwing a tantrum over small things, or even verbally hitting where it hurts while fighting.

There is a very thin line between what is acceptable under this phrase and what is not. Especially in the context of love, playing little tricks or sabotaging another person to win over the girl/boy of your dreams is okay, if and only if, it doesn't cause any serious or permanent damage to that other.

For example: Lying to the girl you like that her boyfriend is cheating on her so that she'll come to you may not be wrong, albeit the morality can be questioned here. However, going and beating up her boyfriend or tarnishing his reputation in society is wrong no matter what.

Similarly, a soldier accidentally killing an innocent civilian may be termed by some as collateral damage. But knowingly holding an innocent bystander at gun point to demand something from the enemy is wrong. This can also be used to explain the phrase 'never hit a person when he is down'. Being unfair is okay only when there is some comparable competency in both the parties. Otherwise, it is like sending a huge army with automatic guns and tanks to take on a small village, or a football star trying to win over the heart of the prettiest girl in school by competing with a guy who isn't that popular.

This phrase is quite an ancient one, with its earliest known use made by poet John Lyly in novel 'Euphues: The Anatomy of Wit', where he uses the words, "Anye impietie may lawfully be committed in loue, which is lawlesse." It is loosely translated as 'the rules of fair play do not apply in love and war'.
The actual phrase was first seen in Francis Edward Smedley's novel 'Frank Fairleigh: Or, Scenes from the Life of a Private Pupil' (1898). The lines go as follows -

"You opened the letter!" exclaimed I.
"In course I did; how was I to read it if I hadn't? All's fair in love and war, you know".

It is believed that John Lyly actually coined this phrase. From then on, it has seen quite a few transitions, with different words being substituted and added to it. For example, 'All is fair in love and war and an election year'!
Some examples
The following are some examples of the usage of this phrase in popular literature, and also in everyday life.
"Love and war are all one . . . It is lawful to use sleights and stratagems to . . . attain the wished end." ~ Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote
"In love and war, every stratagem is fair, they say." ~ G.P.R. James, Smuggler
"Advantages are lawful in love and war" ~ Aphra Behn The Emperor of The Moon
"Of course he called her. All is fair in love and war."
"We didn't cheat in the game. We just really wanted to win. All is fair in love and war you know."
"She lied to Celia that Mark was cheating with another woman, just so she could steal him away. All is fair in love and war I guess."
"I deserved that college seat more than he did. So what if I tweaked the test a little. All is fair in love and war, you know."
"All is fair in love and war if the feelings are true."
"All's Fair in Love and War
So what are we fighting for ..." ~ Lillian Axe All's Fair In Love And War

"Now baby, you know that I sure would grieve
If you were to ever leave me
I guess I'd have to find me someone new, yeah
Someone who's a little bit prettier than you
Just to even up the score
'Cause all is fair in love and war, hey yeah" ~ Ronnie Milsap
This was the meaning of the idiom 'All is fair in love and war'. However, there are rules to the extent of the word 'all', as otherwise, people would do anything in the name of love and war. And so to avoid any harmful effects, we have laws.

Deborah Marsh 3-17-2019 08:49 AM
St. Patrick's Day 2019
Sunday, March 17
f j       Sleeping Now To Rise Again 3-21-2019 08:30 AM
Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day.
Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex
f j       He finally says I love you. 3-29-2019 09:41 AM

yeah thats right jumping the islander ship a kind of connection with dad involving sweden
bogart peter       He finally says I love you. 4-5-2019 10:14 AM
photo from 2015 ..paid for by Peter Austin Noto i want to get paid back for my kindness to u as u would say jn ... spend more time promoting show that ur co host of .....JN says .. .the wealth of videos on YouTube .... Thank you Peter Austin Noto and The Peter Austin Noto Show for all of JN videos...only other videos 1 w ga ga 7 years ago and 2 audition videos from 5 years ago JUST STATING the a feather in the wind .. my dads in the hospital .. call him .... marry me i know you want to .......u told me its the only reason ur still in la .tpans or slatz .. cough ....,..marry me ... xo
Chett 26       $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ 4-7-2019 09:06 AM
AJ DUHE       Sleeping Now To Rise Again 4-16-2019 08:34 AM
bogart peter       $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ 4-17-2019 10:54 AM
Chuck Noland: We both had done the math. Kelly added it all up and... knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had... lost her. 'cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
Chett 26       Sleeping Now To Rise Again 4-18-2019 07:43 AM
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All is fair in love and war basically means that t       All is fair in love and war basically means that t 6-6-2019 2:18 PM
All is fair in love and war basically means that there are no rules applicable in the game of love and in war. There is no room for fair play when a person is desperately trying to win the heart of someone he/she loves, or when a person is going in to war to face his enemies, kill them, and come back alive.
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